Time to stop putting it off...

I had been putting off posting in the hopes that some miracle might happen.... but its time to bite the bullet.

Unfortunately the beautiful little eggie didnt take. Its funny, because even though my part is done and dusted, I really feel like I have let my IPs down. I know I have no control over how that part of things plays out (well, in all reality I have almost no control in how ANY of it plays out.... just the docs and drug amounts I guess!) but I still keep thinking back, and wondering if I could have done something 'better' lol. Silly eh.

My IPs are amazing as usual, after so much heartache and so many failed cycles I guess one more just falls into the crap pile un-noticed. I do wonder a little though if she was acting less disappointed than she truly felt, so I wouldnt feel too bad about it all. They have always worried more about me than they have about themselves, such an amazing selfless couple who I would cycle for 100 times if they needed me to.

So, what is the plan now you ask?? My Current IPs have their second frosty baby on ice - which they will transfer when they feel ready. So I will keep you updated on how they are doing. I can imagine that even if (when!) this next egg takes I will be cycling for them in the future again anyway.... for siblings (what do you think guys?? x x)

Next on the books, I have been speaking to a beautiful woman in Sydney. It originally started out as a genuine friendship, but we found we really clicked, and so the planning has begun! :) We are waiting on a few more test results at their end, and for Melbourne to release my records, then hopefully we will be all go! I am back on the pill to prepare, and already look like a hormonal teen (I thought the pill was supposed to make your skin BETTER!?)

Bring it on!

Sorry about the delay!

I had been a bit down about the results, so hadnt popped in to update for a while - I hope I wasn't too missed!

The first few scans were great, then all of a sudden the next scan revealed all the follicles had practically shrunk except 4. We were all pretty confused - and the decision had to be made whether to continue or cancel they cycle. My IPs decided to give it a shot, so I triggered a few days later and jumped on a plane to Melbourne the next avo. I was feeling like I had really let them down, and felt like such a failure but I was happy we were still going through with it, I think I would have felt much worse if it had of been cancelled.

It was so wonderful to see them both again, and I wasnt at all nervous, just super excited. That night they took me to a gold class movie, and oh my gosh, it was AMAZING! I had so much fun, and little did they know they picked the exact movie I had been hanging out to see!! I was totally and utterly spoiled, and I felt so special and appreciated.

The next morning we were up bright and early and off to the clinic. We didnt wait long, I was taken through and put in a gown, given magazines and a blanket - and patiently waited. Each few minutes a different nurse would come through and double check my details, and then the doctor :) It was time to go through..

I still wasn't nervous in the slightest, the ONLY thing that worried me a teeny bit was the whether the anaesthetist was going to use a bit of local before they put the drip in, because I have crappy veins and it usually takes a few times so gets a little sore, but before I could say 'hello' my arm had been yanked out and it was in, and was actually less painful than what the local usually is! So that was awesome. Then without much hesitation I was out to it....

I opened my eyes, really hoping to hear the number 5, I figured 4 was ok, but how great would it be if they found one hiding somewhere....... out of the docs mouth came the number 3.... and I burst into tears (just to top it off it was the ugly cry..) I felt like such a letdown. 3. 3!? Youve got to be kidding me. Everytime a nurse asked me how I did, I burst into tears. I felt sick at the thought of telling my IPs I only managed to get them 3 eggs.

But, as always, they made me feel better. They were caring, and appreciative, and made me feel like I had done a great job, And then everyone else around me kept drilling into me.. "It only takes one!!!!!"

After the pickup I felt only slightly tender, much better than I had anticipated. The only time I felt awful was about 2 hours after, I became very dizzy and felt really sick, but after a couple of hours sleep and being fussed over I felt much better, and I flew home that night.

Sunday morning I was SO nervous, waiting for the call from my IPs to tell me if they were heading in for transfer Monday morning or not. I was so petrified that no eggs would fertilise and they would be left with nothing. But the call came, and I couldnt stop smiling all day. Monday morning gave us more specific info, 2 of the 3 eggs had fertilised, and BOTH were the best possibly quality you can get (grade 1 out of 5) - which is totally amazing - and I didnt think my smile could get much bigger, but it did. So, transfer was done, and the other eggie was put on ice :)

The 23rd of May is test day... I am 100x more nervous now that what I was throughout any of my part... they really deserve this, and are such beautiful people. Lots of crossed fingers and sticky thoughts would be greatly appreciated about now!!! You will hear from me in a week and a bit... x x

So close!

Everything is going wonderful, I had a scan on Friday (also last Wed but unfortunately the girl didnt provide enough details) and all the little Follies are looking wonderful, and growing nicely!! We really didnt think the small amount of drugs I was jabbing would be enough for decent results, but it seems it has been perfect!! From the scan results fri, it looks as if we might have around 11 eggs, which is an ok number. I would have hoped for a few more, but I think in the IVF world 11 is nothing to frown at. I have another scan first thing Tues morn, and it looks like I will triggering (a different drug I have to inject to mature the eggs) on tues night, fly out wed, collection thurs morn!! SO this is the week.... lot of fingers crossed please... and I will let you know how Tues goes! x x

Bleeeeeeeerrkk....!

Dont we all just love tummy bugs? Its one of my worst fears, if anyone even mentions the word 'Tummy bug' around me, ESPECIALLY if it is something along the lines of "Charlie had a tummy bug yesterday" - look out, because you will be my least favourite person for a while.... Keep your kid at home!!!! Im guessing Corben (my middle sprog) picked it up at preschool - I thought it was a good idea to send him for that extra day at the time... not so much after...

But on a positive note, it seemed to be Norwalk virus, which is reasonably mild, a few chucks and its over and done with. Only one end to worry about, and nice and short lived. All 3 kids ended up with it, I have to admit I was almost in tears when the wee fella was vomiting - its not an easy thing to watch, but Im just thankful it wasnt one that lasted longer. I had some lovely tummy pains yesterday, and felt a bit off, but nothing came of it so Im hoping my body managed to get the upper hand. Hubby seems to have escaped it too, which is the biggest bonus.

So, back to business! Day 3 of jabbing today, and its going great. Day 1 I was nervous, but excited, its such a huge step forward and to be at this stage feels like the final sprint to the finish line. Day 2 hubby watched, I was hoping for a bit of a giggle - I thought he might pale up a bit, but he was sweet as hehe. Today the kids decided they wanted to watch, which I am absolutely ok with, I think my excessive needle phobia came from seeing my mother almost hysterical when it came time for a needle, so I feel that exposing the kids to the fact that its really no big deal and the pain (if any) is very short lived will help them to avoid the fears I had of needles.

Over all I have been feeling fab, the odd headaches I had been getting are gone as expected and other than a current lack of sleep from night spew duty I still feel full of energy. I have a scan at 8.20am Wednesday morning to see how many follies have decided to respond and start their journey... (gosh isnt it amazing to think those little follies could become little babies...) hopefully a nice average amount.



Sending out lots of sticky vibes this weekend for someone I love very much x x x

The time as come.....!

My IP and I both had our scans today, hers went great, as did mine! I have a pretty massive amount of follies, 15 on one and 18 on the other, so hopefully the nice low amount of GonalF (this is the drug I have to inject, which will possibly start tonight!) will mean that only half will mature, and the risk of overstim wont be an issue. :) How exciting, its amazing to think this has all been in the works for almost a year, and in a couple of weeks hopefully a beautiful little eggie will be nice and sticky for my IPs!!!

4 days in and feeling amazing...

I thought Id better pop by and update how everything is going! I have been getting used to the taste of the spray (well, lets say learnt to tolerate!) and each time my alarm rings to tell me its time, Im surprised another half day has passed.

So far I am feeling amazing, I had a chat to my IP who told me the first week or so your hormones actually increase from the Synarel, so Im guessing thats why Im feeling so great! I am just crossing my fingers when they plummet in the next few days I dont feel like I have been hit by a truck! No worries if I do though... thats what my gorgeous husband is for ;) hehe.

Ready... set.... GO!

This morning I had my first sniff of Synarel! (Everybody say YAY!)
I got up, and checked my emails, and I had a step by step of how to use my nose spray from my IP.. hehe, which I thought was very cute (Thank you...)  ;) Luckily she warned me of the horrible taste that you experience a short while after spraying.... and luckily I had toast on hand! 
How was it? Well, it didnt burn as much as I thought it would, but it definitely tastes like crap! I have one spray morning, and one spray night. I will stop the pill next week, then have a scan after my AF - if all is good the jabbing will begin!

Thank you to everyone who has been following and commenting, fingers crossed for some good results :) x x

GREAT news!

Well, I had my scan, and the cyst is GONE! I was honestly SO nervous, I could have cried, and when I realised she was scanning the right ovary and there was no horrible big black patch on the screen, I was over the moon!! When I walked out of the scan Id say the patients waiting thought I was a looney - I had a smile from ear to ear and the receptionist looked and me and said "gosh, that must have gone VERY well!" hahaha. It sure did!!

She also checked my potential follies, which just give a good insight into how my body may respond to the drugs - the were 15 on one side and 12 on the other, so that is a fantastic number. Hopefully it means a nice little amount for my IPs.

I will start sniffing synarel in 3 weeks, it was going to be 2 but we have extended it a week to try and avoid Easter :) We are finally all go! And Im so excited, each day is a step closer and I cant wait! *Dances*

Not so patiently waiting!

I thought it was about time for an update! Ive been twiddling my thumbs and trying to pick a good time to sit down and write, and it seems the time has finally come!

When I had my check up at the clinic I had a quick scan done to check my ovaries, and there was either a cyst or a follicle on my right ovary. I had a scan booked last week to check that it had gone - but unfortunately the crappy little bugger hasnt gone. So the current plan of attack is to stay on the pill for another 3 weeks, then scan again to see if it has packed its bags! So, in the meantime Im being as impatient and brassed off at my own body as always, actually no, I have to admit MORE so than usual, but my IPs rock and yet again they managed to turn it into a positive moment by pointing out I dont have any PCOS which apparently is quite common and is more of a PITA when it comes to donating! Wish me luck its GONE by my next scan!!!!!!!!!

An interesting Article...

One of the girls on AED shared this article, and I wanted to share it with all of you because I think its fantastic!

Genes must be ‘expressed’ within an individual in order to have an
effect.

The same gene or genes can express in a number of different ways
depending upon the environment. A gene can remain ’silent’ or
unexpressed; it can be expressed strongly; it can be expressed weakly,
and so on. There is also an entire field of study called imprinting
having to do with which gene you ‘activate,’ the copy you received from
your mother, or the copy you received from your father.
 
In a donor egg pregnancy, the pregnant woman’s womb is the environment.
It is her genes, not the donor’s, that determine the expression of the
donor-egg baby’s genes.

A donor egg baby gets her genes from the donor; she gets the
‘instructions’ on the expression of those genes from the woman who
carries her to term.

This means that a donor egg baby has 3 biological parents: a father, the
egg donor, and the woman who carries the pregnancy.

The child who is born would have been a physically & no doubt
emotionally different person if carried by his genetic mother.

In horse breeding for example, it’s not uncommon to implant a pony
embryo into the womb of a horse.

The foals that result, are different from normal ponies.
They’re bigger. These animals’ genotype – their genes – are the same as a
pony’s, but their phenotype – what their genes actually look like in the
living animal – is different.
........
The implication of epigenetics is that the child inherits characteristics from the woman who carries the child even if the original DNA comes from a donor egg. In other words the birth mother influences what the child is like at a genetic level - it IS her child.

Cool huh!!!!