Saturday, January 29, 2011

My Introduction!

Hubby and I lost our first baby at just under 20 weeks, and right from that point I decided I wanted to give back if we managed to have our own beautiful family. We have done just that, and after considering surrogacy, I decided my body really does suck at being pregnant, so decided Id egg donate instead. Our kids are happy, healthy and allergy free so thought it would be a great gift. Right from the get go I had hubbys full support (in fact he even considered sperm donation!)
I started off by joining - which is made up of both Kiwis and Aussies. I never intended to commit to anyone because I was still breastfeeding my son, and I didnt want to feel rushed into weaning him. I had been reading everyones stories, and getting to know people on AED, and one person in particular caught my attention. Everything she ever said or did just beamed with a genuine intention to be supportive for others, there never seemed to be any WANT WANT WANT like a lot of others.
We got chatting about everyday stuff (sounds like net dating doesnt it!) and after a while I asked her where in her journey she was at. She hadnt yet posted her add, even though she had been around for months, she said she didnt feel as deserving as some of the other girls looking, so she had been hesitating to post it (awww - and SO not true!) I mentioned to her that if by the time I was ready, she hadnt found someone, I would love to be her donor (obviously we went through a LOT more stuff to make sure we were wanting the same things, but our views are so similar its almost scary!)
She was blown away, and because we matched so well, she asked how I would feel if she just waited until I was ready. And she was SO supportive of my feeding, not once did she say anything other than 'KEEP FEEDING him, let it happen when youre ready!' She was amazing.
So, now we are at that stage where I have weaned, we have had (by WE I mean Hubby and I) our phone counselling to make sure we both know what we are in for and we are suitable, mentally and genetically, which went great and were given the thumbs up. My first appointment at the clinic is booked for this THURSDAY! 3rd Feb, thats when I will get all my meds, actually MEET my IP's (intended parents) for the first time (my butterflies stir just thinking about it! Even though we have spoken on the phone so much, meeting will be very nerve wracking!) We have had our initial bloods done, and I am on the pill (we are doing a down reg cycle)

The donation will be open obviously, so my kids, good friends, and family all know whats happening, but for now the 'who' is for us to know :) The child will be told, and I will play a good friend role. If worst comes to worst and the relationship breaks down, I will have 3 monthly updates and photos for the first 2 years, then yearly thereafter.
So I will update as the process takes place, if this first donation goes well I plan on donating quite a few times. I havent yet even looked at a second set of IP's though (some people do....) - My priorities lie with my current IPs!

With Thursday approaching so quickly, I am so excited and nervous all at the same time. I keep thinking "what if they dont like me!" or "What if Im so nervous I say something stupid and make a right tool of myself!"  - But then I calm down and think that they are probably feel just as anxious, if not worse!

Thank you for popping in and reading about the beginning of my journey, I really hope this blog helps to get the word out about egg donation and possibly even help a few decide to take the leap! So many women are faced with this issue, and there is a severe shortage of donors. I understand this is a big thing to take on, but try putting yourself in their shoes for a second, it would be hard enough suffering years of fertility issues, and being told you need a donor, let alone actually having to FIND a donor.

Do you think it is something you could do?

Most clinics require a donor to have finished their own family (there is a small risk donating can impact on your own fertility) and be under 35. There are lots of options, from anonymous, to open, so plenty of choices to suit your beliefs and views.

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